Dreams of loneliness Like a heartbeat
by kmmi95
Summary: When Katniss has a nightmare in the cave, Peeta comforts her...what truths will be confessed? What fears will be unearthed? Set in the 1st book.


Peeta sits in the entrance of the cave. His eyes alert and wide, staring, watching the area surrounding the cave. Waiting. They know the attack is coming they just don't know when. They guess not a for a while yet however due to the weather. Cato has more sense than try to attack them now, whilst it may mean they are weak it would be nothing to the weakness Cato himself would be experiencing, it would be a suicide mission. But still Peeta and Katniss had decided that it was better to be safe than sorry and decided to carry on with their watches.

As he stared into the blackness, he worried, this new rule that the two of them could survive, seemed too good to be true. He knew though that it would make no difference to them, he would quite happily kill himself for her to survive. He owed her his life anyway; if not for her he would have died earlier, in a painful way. At least he knew that if he did it himself, it would be quick, painless. It would be for a good cause, it would be so Katniss could win.

His thoughts were interrupted by a sound behind him. He turned and quickly abandoned his post at the cave mouth. Katniss was struggling against what he did not know, but it was clear she was in a nightmare.  
>"Rue, no. Peeta, Peeta don't leave me, please don't leave me here, all alone. Please." The last word was said on a sob. He crept closer, knowing if he startled her; it might result in his death. He sat down next to her.<br>"Katniss, I am right here, I am not leaving you."  
>"No! Peeta!" She shouted, loudly, not so loud that the rain did not drown her out, however.<br>She shot up, her face sheet white, eyes searching and scared. They landed on Peeta, and he only just had time to react before she was in his arms.

She was shaking with sobs, and he was holding her, stroking her back. Her hands were all over his back, feeling it for injuries he figured. He pulled back from her, at the movement she moved too. Her tear filled eyes staring up at him.  
>"I am fine Katniss, thanks to you. There are no cuts, or whatever else you are searching for." She continued to cry, her eyes dropping to his tunic as to avoid looking at him. He placed his finger under her chin and lifted it, holding her face there, her eyes unable to leave his.<br>"I am okay Katniss, I am alive because of you, because you healed me, not just medically, but seeing you again, it gave me the power to try again. I was going to give in, I was lying in a hole in the ground, and I had accepted I was going to die. The only thing I was scared of was when that anthem started. For those few minutes my breath was hard to take, but as soon as those faces left the sky, I smiled. You were still alive. I could die happy if I knew you were still alive, after all my death would make your survival more likely. But you, you came for me, you made me better, gave me hope, and I now I think, no I know we can win this. I am alive, and I will try so hard to stay this way. Not for myself, not to win, but for you, because without me, maybe you could lose, but together we are unbeatable. Because we care, we have something to fight for; we always have each other's back. I will always have yours, because if you die, if you leave me Katniss, I have no reason to try and live."

Katniss did not think it possible, but her heart was beating even faster in that moment, the tears were still running but for a different reason. They stared at each other, her eyes staring into his. Before they both, nearly at the same time, leaned forward and connected their lips together.

At that moment, the games sunk away. It no longer mattered to either of them that they were fighting for their lives, that they had killed others. All that mattered was the feel of the other. Peeta's warm lips, Katniss's fingers tracing patterns on his cheek. The movement of each other's chests. Katniss sees fireworks; nothing has ever felt this good, this natural. Even the feel of a bow, it feels as if their lips were meant to join, just like this. Her letting him take control, in a way she never would with anyone else. The trust she has in him overshadowing every other person she thought she trusted.

Peeta's hands tighten around her waist, forgetting the cameras that are on them, showing the people of Panem what they were doing, the feelings they had for each other. They pulled back, chests heaving trying to pull in breath. But still Katniss's hands were on Peeta's check, whilst his were wrapped around her waist, hold her to him.

"You know I have been so scared." Said Katniss, in a soft voice, one that Peeta had never heard her use before, she sounded so unsure.  
>"I told myself that I would work for only me in this. That I would disregard everyone else, and just focus on me, but it quickly came to me that that would not happen. Every time that cannon was shot, I entered a state of panic, terrified that it was you. I would not properly relax until I saw the faces in the sky, and saw your face was no among them. From the moment the cannon was shot until the moment I knew it was not you, all I could think of was you. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was terrified that you were dead. I keep seeing you dead, you or Rue or even both, but these dreams I can deal with, they have haunted me since the reaping, the images of your death. The ones that are unbearable, they also contain you death, but they are different." She stops talking.<br>"Different How?" He asks,  
>"I kill you." She says in a voice shaking, the tears starting to collect at the side of her eyes again.<br>"I murder you; your blood stains my hands." The tears drop. Falling, reflecting slightly in the moonlight that shines. Peeta's hands leave her waist and for a minute she is scared that he is leaving her, but soon his hand get hold of hers. He holds them out in-between them, his fingers rubbing soothingly on the backs of her hands.  
>"My blood has stained your hands once Katniss and it was to save me. It may not be what you want to hear but I must say it, if you did ever have to kill me, I would be happy. Because my death would mean your survival, because your face would be the last face I saw." Her tears fell faster then, but he lent forward and kissed them away.<br>"What did I do for someone so caring and brave to love me, the way you do?"  
>"Well to be honest you stood up and sung. A song that forever plays in my head."<p>

The two stayed like that, clutched in one another's arms, drawing comfort from the other. That was until they started to shiver. At the point the two climbed into the sleeping back, Katniss's head leaning on Peeta's chest, their hand gripped together.  
>"You know, I never thought I would ever say this to anyone but my family. But I think I love you, no I know I love you Peeta Mellark." She said, snuggling further into his side.<br>"I love you too Katniss Everdeen." He said, he can feel her smile against him, before she lets the sound of his beating heart lull her to sleep, whilst he keeps his eyes on the door. Never letting go of her hand.


End file.
